How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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