the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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