weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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