You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
