I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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