He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
