this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize