I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
