Who wears a wallet chain?!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you never un-have a 4some
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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