I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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