I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
