hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
