Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
