thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
