We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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