he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
