Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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