Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize