too bad you live with your parents still
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
