Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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