how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
