Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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