Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
