I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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