it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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