You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
