tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
