I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize