Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
