Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
