It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
