worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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