I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
