i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
