If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize