She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize