His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
