that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
