You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
