Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
