She went from zero to smokin in five shots
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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