Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
