I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
