kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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