It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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