So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
