You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
