living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
