I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
no you cant smoke seaweed
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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