he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
