your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
