every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You left your phone here
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