I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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