Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I will pee on everything he values.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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