she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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