you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
