when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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