I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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