O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
