he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
