im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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